Your Worth as a Human Being

I maintain that the most beautiful thing about life, is death. It is a good thing that we all die. Sad? Yes. But good. It’s also a good thing that we age. Ageing is hard: losing your youthful vigor and looks, becoming increasingly aware of your mortality, experiencing newfound frailty, watching your friends and loved ones die, and watching life change beyond recognition as new ideas, technology, and culture is waved in—it’s hard.

Elon musk once said that he sees death as a beautiful thing because death is nature’s way of making sure life goes on. No death would have meant no evolution. No death would also have meant no growth: outdated and harmful ideologies would still be around to date. I’m sure there are people whom you think it would be nice if there were still alive today. But even they benefited from dying because to live is to change, and that historical figure you just thought of would have been changed beyond recognition had they continued living. Death takes away good things, but it takes away many bad things too, and the net effect is a benefit to mankind. For this reason, I celebrate death, and will gladly meet it when the it meets me.

So death is good, and it is a certainty. With death putting an arbitrary boundary on your life, you have no choice but to think of how to make the most of your limited time here. Why not amass a huge fortune? Why not partake in the pleasures of life? As much sex possible, for a start. I once watched one of those videos where some young guy goes around asking old people what they wish they had done more of when they were younger. One old lady said she wished she had had more sex. Her recommendation: get as much of it as you can. Of course other respondents wished they had saved more, spent more, cared more about their health, spent more time with their friends and family, pursued certain hobbies etc. A common response was: “I wish I had taken a lot more risks in every aspect of my life”. Another common one was: “I wish I hadn’t cared so much about other people’s opinions or been so shy.” I don’t see much value in these responses: you are always living your life to the best of your knowledge and ability, even if you think you are not. So most regrets are useless because if you knew better, and were capable of better, you would have done better. Move on.

Another reason that these responses don’t move me is because they all have to do with consumption, and the problem with consumption is that there are diminishing marginal returns. Sure, you can have sex any chance you get, but then it loses meaning. Even money loses meaning past a certain point. You are not as vain as you think you are. If you ask me, the reason these people gave these responses is because in their twilight years, with the prospect of death looming, they are forced to think back at what they would have loved to do more of in life, but don’t or won’t have a chance to anymore.

I’m sure in one form or another, you’ve come across the idea that spiritual things matter more than material ones. I have one for you, about the best thing to do with your life. The only metric you should care about, is how many people’s lived you touched. That is your worth as a human being. Whoever you are, whatever your personality, gifts, talents, quirks; even if you are flawed in whatever ways, there are things about you, your ways of thinking and going about things, and your history, that can touch other people’s lives. There is a joke you know right now, that can make someone laugh until they forgot they were having a bad day. Maybe it’s how you cook a certain dish, or that you hug a little too snug and for a little longer. Maybe it’s how you pay attention and listen keenly to the person in front of you. There are too many ways you could touch someone’s life to count.

The problem with us is that we went through an education system that taught us that our worth laid in specific skills, or that we live in a society where our worth is what we can produce, or what we can consume from everyone else, if only we pay them for it. This has meant that a huge trove of our actual worth lays deep within us unused. And those who discover their talents and gifts have no choice but to commodify them; it’s what everyone else does. The problem with this, is that you either get to the end of life having never lived up to your true self, and your true potential, or having been paid for it with the wrong currency—money and other things.

If you take nothing else from this, stop measuring your worth using the wrong metrics. When you die, it won’t matter how much money you had, or how much sex you had, or whether you pursued this dream or that goal. The only thing that will matter is how many people whose minds and hearts you touched. If you really think about it, it’s why you were made. Why you were born at the time you were, why you live where you live, are the way you are, and do the things you do. Life equipped you with highly specific ways of touching people’s lives. Even procreation is about touching lives. You give birth to some kids, you make them kind and good people, and nurture their talents, and they go out into the world and touch lives. This is why a footballer will score a goal, run to the sidelines and give their mom a big hug and a kiss. In that one moment, they get it. They get what life is really about.

So in a world where death is good, and death is certain, the best thing to do is touch as many hearts as possible. And there are too many ways to do this to count.